M
Dear M,
I loved you. I did. I know it might not have seemed like it, but I honestly did. I think till do.
Probably doesn't mean much now, though, huh? It’s been what four, five years? God, time goes by so fast. It feels like it was just yesterday that we were still in high school.
Remember that pool party I threw for graduation? I still can’t believe my mom even allowed it. Man, those were the days.
I remember not long after that, I went to visit you at college. It was around November? Yeah, November because your campus was closed for thanksgiving, but they let you stay for whatever reason. We were going to an anime con together that weekend. I think that was the first time I ever traveled alone, but the journey to see you was worth it. Of course, there were other reasons I went there, but you were definitely one of the main points.
I would never have admitted it back then, but sleeping together was actually not awful. I mean, you dominate the whole bed and rolled around – on top of me sometimes – but at the end of the day, it was kind of adorable.
Why? Why did it have to happen? We were “married,” for christ’s sake. I mean, not legally, but who cares? People assumed we were dating anyway. It’s been so long that I don't even know what the catalyst was. Was it when I got new friends? When I started gaming a lot more? When I got a boyfriend and gave him more attention? I don’t know.
The thing that kills me is that I tried. Maybe not immediately at first, but I tried. After I moved back (though I vaguely remember contacting you before that), I gave you chance after chance to reconcile. Every time, I was met with the cold wall of being left on read. I almost went to your house and was going to play annoyingly loud music (The Cure) outside your window and demand a confrontation. If that didn’t work, my backup plan was to bribe you with Reese’s cookie dough, your favorite....
Five years of silence. Who knew it would bug me so much? They say you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. Well, you're gone, and I really fucking miss you. Oh yeah, did you know I cuss now? Yeah, me. The girl who was such a “saint”. So much has changed. Well, I hope you’re happy, and I do genuinely mean that. I’m annoyed we aren’t together anymore, but at least I know you’re alive and (hopefully) happy.
If you do ever want to make amends, you know where to find me.
P.S. Dogs will always be superior to cats.
I loved you. I did. I know it might not have seemed like it, but I honestly did. I think till do.
Probably doesn't mean much now, though, huh? It’s been what four, five years? God, time goes by so fast. It feels like it was just yesterday that we were still in high school.
Remember that pool party I threw for graduation? I still can’t believe my mom even allowed it. Man, those were the days.
I remember not long after that, I went to visit you at college. It was around November? Yeah, November because your campus was closed for thanksgiving, but they let you stay for whatever reason. We were going to an anime con together that weekend. I think that was the first time I ever traveled alone, but the journey to see you was worth it. Of course, there were other reasons I went there, but you were definitely one of the main points.
I would never have admitted it back then, but sleeping together was actually not awful. I mean, you dominate the whole bed and rolled around – on top of me sometimes – but at the end of the day, it was kind of adorable.
Why? Why did it have to happen? We were “married,” for christ’s sake. I mean, not legally, but who cares? People assumed we were dating anyway. It’s been so long that I don't even know what the catalyst was. Was it when I got new friends? When I started gaming a lot more? When I got a boyfriend and gave him more attention? I don’t know.
The thing that kills me is that I tried. Maybe not immediately at first, but I tried. After I moved back (though I vaguely remember contacting you before that), I gave you chance after chance to reconcile. Every time, I was met with the cold wall of being left on read. I almost went to your house and was going to play annoyingly loud music (The Cure) outside your window and demand a confrontation. If that didn’t work, my backup plan was to bribe you with Reese’s cookie dough, your favorite....
Five years of silence. Who knew it would bug me so much? They say you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. Well, you're gone, and I really fucking miss you. Oh yeah, did you know I cuss now? Yeah, me. The girl who was such a “saint”. So much has changed. Well, I hope you’re happy, and I do genuinely mean that. I’m annoyed we aren’t together anymore, but at least I know you’re alive and (hopefully) happy.
If you do ever want to make amends, you know where to find me.
P.S. Dogs will always be superior to cats.
Photos used under Creative Commons from Rev. Strangelove !!!!, NASA Goddard Photo and Video